i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Buhtt sex?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
