this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
