just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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