i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
