Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
