No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
