I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
