Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
