3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
