dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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