imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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