i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
