I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
