i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize