"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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