pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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