I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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