Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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