Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
