bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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