I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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