This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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