i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
