Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
