our cab driver is having phone sex.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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