This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
