Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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