So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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