i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey