If that was your dad, he is hot
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
