She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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