I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
