I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
