Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
