If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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