So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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