Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
