that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Found the puke drawer
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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