I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
he's gonorrhea incarnate
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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