This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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