a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
