So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
