Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
