apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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