ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
