your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
