Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
