The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize