we made out on top of his cat.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
