I think scott just propositioned me for sex
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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