So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
