you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
