ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
