You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
