Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Semen is not good for contacts.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
