Porn is love you can see.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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