GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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