Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
