I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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