Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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